Wednesday, September 2, 2009

New Hunting Ranch for the PC Now Open

New Hunting Ranch for the PC Now Open

Ever wanted to satisfy that innate craving to hate and hunt, but your political correctness keeps getting in the way? Sure, it's great feeling smug and self-righteous when defending the rights of the planet, animals and people less "people" than you, but what do you do with the call of the wild inside you?

Well, now you have an outlet! Bill Mayhem and Michael Moreorless have created El Rancho Diablo, government-funded (oops, that part was supposed to be a secret) hunting ranches for the Politically Correct. These ranches are conveniently located in several undisclosed locations on both the east and west coasts.*

What can you do at El Rancho Diablo? You can release the deep wells of anger and hatred you have for those pesky Christians and right-wing radio personalities at the top of your lungs without fear of having to defend your bias or irrational and unjustified disdain.

El Rancho Diablo is fully equipped with extravagant Shouting and Shooting Ranges. Our shouting and shooting ranges allow you the option of shouting or shooting a BB gun** at life-like fake wax*** replicas of Bible-thumping believers and your most despised radio right-wingers.

Want to pop a vein on your forehead while shouting at the top of your lungs at Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Mark Levin, Laura Ingraham, or Shawn Hannity without fear of them talking back? No problem. Care to spew venom and hatred at a few smiling, hard-working, tax-paying, successful, upper-middle class Christians? Fire away!

Speaking of "firing away," we even provide weapons (because we know you've always wanted to hold one). At every shouting and shooting range, you can choose from a selection of BB guns ranging from BB pistols to semi-automatic BB rifles. Your personal trainer**** will assist you in the proper methods of gun handling. She or he will show you how to pick up the weapon, hold the weapon, and aim the weapon.

*A screening process is required to gain access to these locations to ensure that you won't actually have to confront a live Christian or right-wing radio personality.

**Of course, because this is a PC outing, the ranch only allows BB guns with blanks. All BB rifles come standard with recoil pads for your safety.

***No candles were harmed in the making of these replicas.

****Recently released Guantanamo Bay terror suspects.

Apply today. No logic necessary. Politicians, government employees, Oprahma, all news agency employees except FOX NEWS, and Liberal College Professors hunt free. No ID (or IQ for that matter) required. Lists of popular slogans and fool-proof irrelevant chants complete with demonstration signs supplied if you feel more comfortable holding a sign instead of a gun. While government funding lasts. Lawyers experienced in frivolous lawsuits are on standby for your convenience in case you wish to sue us.

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