Monday, June 16, 2008

The Doctor Will See You Now

Jeremiah inquired about healthcare (8:22). He saw a sick nation and called for a doctor and a cure. Israel looked like a dying man. Jeremiah called 911.

From the pages of the New Testament, the ambulance arrives and Israel is taken to All Saints Hospital. The physician on call is Dr. Paul.

Dr. Paul does a thorough exam, which is no surprise when you read what he wrote in his medical journal to Corinth, "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith" (2 Corinthians 13:5).

First, Dr. Paul checks the blood work. If the patient is anemic, then a transfusion is needed. It may sound complicated, but this is actually the easiest part of the exam. If the blood work does not come back JC+ (Jesus Christ positive), then the patient needs new blood. Only JC+ blood can defeat all diseases of the soul.

Dr. Paul then listens to the heart. With his stethescope pressed against the chest cavity, he listens to see if the heart has been quickened (Ephesians 2:1, 5). He also checks for calluses (Mark 8:17; Proverbs 28:14).

Dr. Paul then gives the patient a head exam, subscribing to the notion that most of us need our heads examined. He checks for a closed mind (Romans 1:28), a carnal mind (Romans 8:7-8), a blind mind (2 Corinthians 4:4), and a condition known as "highmindedness" - which is quite simple to check for...just look for a swollen head or chest (Proverbs 16:18).

The exam continues with a complete eye exam, checking for "wise-in-his-own-eyes" syndrome (Proverbs 26:12) and poor focus (Proverbs 17:24). A complete ear exam checks for itching ears (2 Timothy 4:3-4), heavy ears, and closed ears.

Dr. Paul checks the mouth and runs a battery of tests on the lips, tongue, voice, and throat, looking for lying lips, a deceitful tongue, and scars on the voice and throat from profanity, angry outbursts, and gossip. They leave really nasty and noticeable scars.

Just below the head, Dr. Paul examines the neck for a serious neck injury known as "stiffneckedness" (Proverbs 29:1). Dr. Paul then examines the back for two things. One, a stiff neck is usually accompanied with a bowed back. Two, he checks for Sonburn. If the patient has Sonburn, it is obvious he has turned his back on the Son.

Beyond that, Dr. Paul will check the knees to see whether they are locked or callused. Locked knees are a miserable condition because they will not bow in prayer. Callused knees are a healthy sign. He also checks the fingers. Although Matthew 7:3 mentions a different body part, an accurate diagnosis of this condition is called "finger pointing."

Finally, Dr. Paul checks the feet. A common disease among believers is paralysis of the feet. They simply will not go where God sends them. Generally, paralysis of the feet is a secondary ailment caused by hardheartedness, high-mindedness, poor vision, poor hearing, or some of the other conditions previously mentioned.

After a thorough exam, Dr. Paul subscribes a single remedy: repentance. This is a prescription Dr. Paul has great confidence in because he received it personally from the Great Physician who once said,
"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to REPENTANCE" (Mark 2:17).

Getting back in line to get my head examined,
Perry Crisp

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