Only a man would buy his wife a pocket taser stun gun for an anniversary gift.
Only a man would then take the stun gun home and play with it before giving it to his wife.
Only a man would ignore the instructions that came with a stun gun.
Only a man would test the stun gun on his wife's stainless steel microwave oven that leaves a permanent black mark on it.
Only a man would shake his head and say, "I have no idea!" when his wife asked how the black mark got on the microwave.
Only a man would enjoy seeing the blue arc of electricity so much that he would taser the toaster, the refrigerator, the stove top, the metal stools, and the kitchen sink...and THEN notice the trail of burn marks similar to those on the microwave.
Only a man would sit in his recliner with the stun gun and pursue the urge to advance from stainless steel to living tissue.
Only a man would contemplate experimentation with Fluffy, the wife's cat.
Only a man would cross his arms and say, "Hmmmm...that IS strange!" when his wife showed him Fluffy's new look: Eyes permanently crossed, fur standing on end, and tongue that no longer retracts into mouth.
Only a man would ignore the effects of the stun gun on Fluffy and ponder the nature of human response.
Only a man would sit in his recliner in shorts and no shirt and logically calculate which part of his body would be least affected by the 100,000-volt surge of electricity if applied there and removed quickly.
Only a man would fail to realize that once a taser is self-applied, it cannot be removed quickly. Either the batteries have to die before you do or you have to pass out and hit the floor to jar the taser from your hand.
Only a man would deduce that his inner thigh is a logical place to test the stun gun.
Only a man would unwrap a stick of butter and apply it to the burns on his body once he regained consciousness and stopped screaming, and then put the butter back in the refrigerator.
Only a man would act shocked and say, "How did THAT get there?" when his wife saw butter-soaked burn marks all over his body.
Sorry guys. Just making a point. Here it is: What have you done today that only a Christian would do?
Only a cat would lick the butter off a man who tasered her while the man enjoyed a vicodin-nap on his recliner.
NOT that man...