Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Words never uttered...from the animal kingdom:

Fish: "I'm thirsty."

Cow: "That hamburger looks good."

Snail: "It all happened so fast."

Eagle: "No thanks. I'd rather walk."

Vulture: "Gross! I'm not eating that!"

Snake: "Hey, look! A guy with a hoe. I wonder if he's friendly."

Porcupine: "That was the best massage I ever got."

Cat: "I hope Jamie wants to play 'fetch' today!"

Alligator: "What! No salad bar?"

Turkey: "I love November."

Salmon: "I'll be back."

Armadillo, Opossum, Rabbit, & Turtle: "Always look both ways before crossing the road."

Words never uttered...from me:

"May I please have a pickle?"

"Oh boy! Algebra!"

"I wish I had a cat."

"I wonder what's on HG tv."

"Alright! Golf AND Nascar on tv at the same time! Cool!"

"I'll be back right after I get an earring and highlights."

"Fishing? Nah, I'm too tired."

"I only feel like preaching ten minutes today."

Words never uttered...from Biblical characters:

Adam to Eve: "Oh yeah? I'll have you know there are PLENTY of women who find me attractive!"

Eve to Adam: "Honey, I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

Noah (before the ark): "I've always dreamed of operating a zoo."

Noah (after the ark): "We sure could use some rain."

Abraham: "Sodom seems like a nice place to raise a family."

Lazarus: "I don't believe in miracles."

Satan: "You really need to think this through."

Jesus: "I could probably help you get to heaven. Or you could try one of those other guys. Either way."

God: "I changed my mind. I don't love you any more."

Perry Crisp
(Okay, so I admit. My quiet time got a little off-track this morning)

No comments: