Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Side Effects May Include...

"Side effects may include blurred vision, heart attack, stroke, diptheria, three additional toes, intense abdominal pain, vomiting, schizophrenia, and loss of memory. But boy, can we stop your hair loss!"

Have you ever wondered why the side effects are always bad? You would think someone would eventually invent a pill with positive side effects. I would love to hear a pharmaceutical ad that says, "side effects may include regrowth of hair in bald spots, shrinking of abdominal fat, cessation of hair growth in ears and nose, removal of age spots, vericose veins, and bacne" (acne is what teenagers get on their faces; as you get older, it moves to your back and is called, 'bacne').

There is a pill with positive side effects: the gos-pill. You just have to take it once a lifetime with a full glass of repentance and a plate full of faith. And the side effects are incredible, amazing, and truly out of this world.

Many of the side effects of Christianity are not fully realized until later: A new body, a new home in heaven, an eternity without pain or tears. But some side effects take place immediately: Instant transformation into "new creature" status(2nd Corinthians 5:17), a forgiven past, guilt removed, and a soul that comes alive to a freedom you never knew existed.

Here's the fine print: "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9). And "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Romans 10:13).

There's no greater medicine than that which not only removes the sickness, but restores the patient to a condition of health beyond anything he or she has ever known.

Actual Testimony of a Satisfied Customer,
Perry Crisp

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